God is the strength of my heart
God is the strength of my heart and my fortress forever

mummy, come over soon!
debobf, come over soon! :)

Currently working on 2 essays- one on epilepsy and the other on detritivores in aquatic ecosystems. I've always wondered why several groups of people are overtly, and in my humble opinion, overly concerned about the environment. Perhaps those who are far removed from the worry, like the current me, are selfish and apathetic human beings content with depleting world resources. And should I add, doing it hurriedly, before our time (and if compassion speaks, at least three generations from now) is up.

On the flip side, before someone attempts to reduce the verbal waste I am spewing or vehemently tries to recycle my body parts, I hereby proclaim that I shall put my best foot forward in practising the 3Rs. haha sheesh lar!

nevertheless, goodbye. im going home to watch oprah for a short break. physical exhaustion is summarised in the phrase "the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak".

oprah oprah, my inspiration. haha.

ta! :) ;) =)

Ps. Ken Li and Yulie had a baby yest morn!! haha so happy for them:) her name's Caitlin. quite a common aussie name..but now that i think and laugh about it, Charlotte's quite a scary rhyming treat, right mich? hehe.

Met Jim and Simon's mum at Casey yest..told her how proud she should be of her sons. it's baby season, people! (hinthint*) haha.

anyway. The past few sermons I've listened to were mostly on stepping out and becoming the "X-factor" in your situation. You can't change your circumstance or the people around you, but you can change the way you handle it. Since coming to Australia, I've met the nicest and the weirdest people. I mean, how bad can scgs, hcjc and riverlife friends be? I used to expect alot out of people, alot out of the ones I loved. I suppose I can't change them, but I can decide not to ridicule, not to insult and not to put down. Unfortunately, some of them have gone from my life, and maybe I may never have the opportunity to hand the appropriate apology to them.

On another note, 1045 was great yesterday! :) Miss the team. and I'm glad Casey's growing in direction as well. haha. sure, we do make please-dig-a-hole-for-me mistakes, but we're learning haha. :)

haha wayne picked me up at 845..keeps reiterating the fact that he's a Pro (P-plater) and im a Loser (L-plater) haha. But he was just amused at how I was still putting some 'stuff' on while he was driving. It's your fault lar, you always come early haha.

then mich led worship, singing, playing the NEW keyboard and signalling at the same time haha. gosh, how can one be so talented? :) which everyone knows she is. Praise God for her!:) it's such an encouragement when I think of the people who set up and down every week, who come all the way from the city and other suburbs just to serve God. it's an honour to work with them. :)

so i didnt have my bubble tea yesterday. -frowns. and maybe im not going skiing cos i cant make it this week and nxt week may just see mere traces of artificial snow. hai.

"So I look to You, noone else will do." You are my strength when I am weak. My deliverance in times of trouble. Won't You send an angel to me? But I know You're more than enough. You give me the grace to carry on. I won't cease being joyful for it is Your joy which brings freedom, and freedom, liberty.

I just heard from Ps. Geoff that Daniel, one of the indonesian people I met 2 years ago, has TB. He's truly a man after God's heart. I will always rem what he said to us during a prayer meet. "Pray for Indonesia, pray for my country." He's feeling better now..and I hope God will bless him and Fami greatly, because I will always remember how they impacted my life and inspired me by just being the man and woman of God He has called them to be.

pray for Indonesia, alright?

whr's my jsmne aple w prl?

ihavetodrinkmybelovedpaopaocha tmr.
butnoonemakesthemasniceas tea valley. =(

oh those funtasia days. :)

im going to 1045 tmr! thank You Lord for wonderful people with the same vision- to see Your Kingdom reign on this earth. You always provide. :) and oh Hillsongs united is coming to Citylife! can't wait. and i just finished a women's Dare conference at Citylife. awesome stuff! :)

and wonderful friends who unknowingly cheer me with up with little things. like shuk's little note on her blog. anne's sms when she left for msia. mau ren's nice lamb toy n chocs when he went to nz. and josh and jenny (my coursemates) who walked to my hse to deliver a tigger toy frm hkdisneyland. more about those another time=)

some people get high on alcohol while i dont. i get high on sugarrushes!!

ilovemyfamily!

shuk: serious? eh i must go there one day. tell me how to get there! is driving there easier? haha. how much did you burn huh? yar! did you see sportsgirl spring fashion? one top is like aud90! -_- but super nice. haha. glad you had fun!

rawr: haha nina, how did you come up with such a nickname?? but then again, it's so yoU. haha.

debo: haha who cares about crappy. i dont even see how his new hairdo looks 'new' haha. he's still as hairy as ever. haha no lar, school is not fun now. :) love you.

poi: poipoi! haha im half-serious planning some stuff up for next year. we'll see how it goes okay? haha. i think i just got this, that - canada is part of north america, but a different country from usa. usa is made up of different states, but is still one country?!?! haha. sheesh. i think maybe im lamer than you. and please, dont scare canada with your corny antics. =)

hy: oh yar! i forgot they were in the same batch as you. samantha tan was also in nj=) cool! yar, sg is so small you'd know everyone. like a virtual friendster link. haha. i miss you too=)

______________________

i finally understand why aussies love their coffee and hot drinks. when i first came, Jimmy was like. whattt!? you dont drink hot drinks? haha yar, i was a fanatic of cold drinks, mocha frap and all things dark chocolate ;)

the past few days have seen me waking up at 730 and sleeping at 12-1am. hmm. but once assignments are done, i want to concentrate on skiing. 3/4 family trip in sept i think! last year, i went to a smaller (and less famous) mountain. no wonder i thought skiing was painfully easy (pun intended). this year, i think we might be heading to Mt. Buller, which is much bigger, and is, as the abcs (chin-aussies) call it- real skiing. haha.

my landlord's son- daniel see gave me krispy kremes to eat yest, as a reward for me helping them in their photoshoot a few weeks ago. It's for a website for their business in homestay and student accomodation. i'll show you guys the website once it's done! :) pretty fun posing haha. but ive realised that models cant exactly have their say in the photoshoots, or which brands they want to plaster their faces on. exceptions apply of course.

sometimes, people just see you as a face, treat you like a face, and merely take a liking to your face.

haha but!

im excited for certain stuff im trying to plan for next year. i dont know, i want a change in environment. i want my independence back. my sis was asking me, but arent you already overseas? haha. "not till you guys (half the family) came and disturbed me!!" just kidding. last year was all alone, freedom you could say, and liberation.

i think it's good for us young adults to get our independence going. for me, it did backfire for a period of time- miss know-it-all, miss i-can-do-this-mySELF. rebellious. indignant. outspoken. But as we mature and learn from the past, come experience and proper guidance from family and friends, we discover who we are. the lost parts of us. we learn what we can and cannot do. i suppose i was forced to grow up and be a lady, a woman and not a spoilt little terror. (haha, hey was I really? good friends may comment on this heehee.)

I'm going to be 19 come end of this year. 19 is a cool age. haha forgive the lousy adjective. but seriously, most people would want to be 19 again. So, I want to make full use of that and not drown in the protected yet liberal world. My protected little bubble world is slowly expanding to include street-wise notions. :)

haha where was I. talktalktalk. dream and dream. It's never wrong to dream, is it? Actions speak louder than words, I always remind myself. :)

- in retrospect, my past entries reveal little bouts of tug of war within me. stages of discovering, learning and growing must not be ignored haha. that's what this blog is for!-

i suppose this is my blog however constricted this is haha.

Jokes:

What's the difference between a lawyer and a terrorist?
You can negotitiate with a terrorist. (not true anymore)

What do you get when you cross a lawyer and a devil from hell?
No change.

foo jia ying where are you? =(

everyone needs to fly away to where they want to be.

everybody's looking for that something. so you gotta fight, for every thing.

happy strangling cheryl. nik doing anne haha:)

nikkiiii!! my lost fiji girly!=)

the taylors gang who met up=) haha all but the furthermost 2 pp are frm monash!

anne tong!=) came to visit frm imu!

wonder why she took this. but the colourful stalls we have in school are pretty pasarmalam yeah? =) cheap stuff!

from left: bea, bronwyn, kai and sam tan:) at Jam Factory southyarra abt a month ago=)

Hi hi!

While waiting to meet shuk on fri nite, I accomplished rare speed shopping in an hour. (wait, did I really wait for her majesty for an entire hour?) erhumph. They were all on sale muahaha. shoes, sunnies for driving, and accessories. If you add up the 'discounts', it'll probably amount to over aud100/- yeah that's why I don't believe in buying things which are not on sale, because franchises still make $ during sales, right? haha. maybe except the supposed mng 60% sale..shuk and i were scouting for buys, and concluded that they're all probably lastlastx100 season haha. ;) --the new black is ninewest!-- bouts of girlism.

I feel a sense of accomplishment when I get good buys and I know I'm not buying them out of whim and fancy, but because I really need them:) They were all good brands, and good buys:) I think I shop like a guy sometimes. haha.

anyway, shuk and I had a nice short chat over shared chinese dinner. tried to order in our rusty chinese. hai. wo men yao duo jiang hua yu. but I really enjoyed that short time with her. You know, with some people, it can just be a short meeting, but you leave knowing that it was quality time and not a mere social affair.

Then I headed off to ocf victoria prayer meet. found out that sam and bronwyn are in shin han and sau's cell group!? haha so interesting. it's a small world after all. well, I met alot of parkvillans. :) Sat with Bernice, and realised that I also sat with her last year at the same event:) and must I mention, I finally met jongyonhow. :)

Just today, I came across an article. What Kate said is pretty wise. After all, they are but humans like us. :) http://www.newidea.com.au/display.cfm?objectid=AAF96909-BE06-4CC6-A72066415EF5224A&navid=F9E6C338-44D5-49DF-95A2378DF3E21141

Anyway- I would like to preach on the importance of eating healthily and regularly. I recently woke up at 6am to donate junk, which flowed through my oesophagus, to the bowl in the bathroom. twice. -_- and codliveroil is good for you. I should get that soon=)

To an idea more absorbing than this entire monotone entry- I just talked to poi online! yay! and I hope I can save up to visit her in Canada one fine day. I didn't even know Niagara Falls is in Canada. haha. poi, all the best packing. and all the best with your studies. cos you've always been the smart kid full of lame ideas, must i add. and im glad somehow, that we're both maturing in some way:) haha. heehee. get a nice housemate okay;)

--ramble off nothing-- (not for the easily agitated intellectual)

yay i got into aust open! haha. praise God:) im going to be a Front of House staff a.k.a Usher. haha. but that's better than Reception- and the lady told us that you get really weird phone calls, like someone calling to tell Hewitt to wear his cap cos it's hot!?!. I'd be like "yeah sure, i'll tell him. in fact, i'll tell him right this moment on centre court at the risk of face-hitting-balls -_-"

haha wanted the Superbox staff role actually..cos you get to meet the coporate clients (then again, you cant talk to them) haha. but i guess, the whole atmosphere is on the courts..not some far away box with binoculars. :)

yeah but it's gonna be super hot during summer (aust open is from mid jan to feb) so we're supposed to wear hats?! serious haha. and like you've to wear their polo tshirt and either long black pants or if you wear a formal skirt, you've to top it up with black tights. eeew. haha. hope i get to wear shorts if not my sweat glands will be overworked.

but im looking forward to it, since i think im going to stay for summer..and i love big events:) my cousin's cousin was the top gun ball boy last yr. haha not easy you noe! he got to do the men's singles finals too:) he showed us his trophy..plus some prize money. haha i think the trophy weighs more than all of mine added together.

on to another topic, we're having this law team assignment. which is pretty cool cos we're role-playing. everyone's a partner of the Monash Law firm. and we have cases to deal with. As for me, I have this client who is really upset with me. sigh. haha.

the first meeting we had was full of intellectual talk and the bouncing of ideas off each other. i really do miss that. but they were impressed with my minutes (im the secretary)! haha we tried to keep everything professional like a real firm, so it's rather fun.

maybe i might just be a lawyer then.

i need to buy new shoes. im not a shoes person for now, but all my shoes have something wrong. =( ive improved alot, and am quite thrifty this year. i think i can count all my fashion purchases with one or if im lucky, two hands. living off last year's horrid indulgence. and still surviving i suppose. :)

"and how many times, have I broken Your heart, still You forgive, if only I ask."

the inspiration behind this blog address :)

i can imagine how God admires His creation- you and me.

just like how i admire my new gadget and yearn to discover its every single detail.

how it was crafted, how it works, what it was created for, how gorgeous it is.

what makes you happy, what makes you cry, what makes you stronger, what makes you beautiful to Him.

it's not the outside that He sees; beauty lies within. it shines, it flourishes, it radiates.

when all is stripped away, where does my confidence lie?

i was conversing with two friends on outer beauty. reasoning how we cannot change the way the world views it, for that is how we are wired. first impressions and what not.

when brand names fade, when accomplishments call for dust, when titles are rendered useless- would anyone want to be me? what is my security? what is my comfort zone? how far can you push me? how far can i go? how far would i go? would You send me, for me?

I cannot change what the world thinks of the surface me, but I can change the way I think about me- by looking from God's perspective.

Reading my past diary entries, I saw a lost girl trying to fit into big shoes. As the shoes got bigger, she sunk into them but always knew that Someone would save her. That faith could move mountains. She was searching for her identity, her dreams, her vision- fighting her life. Always searching for more. Always.

"You are the best thing that has happened to me, and the world will never take, the world will never take it away."

I think I finally understand, what my parents said about love and marriage. Perhaps I've grown up.

Watched Oprah today, about marriages, and the questions we should ask before getting married. cold feet to be ignored? no, they're whispers from heaven. So dont become another statistic of the divorce rate, yells Oprah vehemently. so many of us fall into the trap of lovey dovey, but I think I've finally realised that's to take second stage for the future One.

As life goes on, we become more mature, supposedly. As we look back, maybe somethings were worth a try, maybe some were worth the ditch. What ifs enter, and perhaps we've missed out on some of our youth. Never regretting, always learning.

Most have heard of the phrase of "Many walk in and out of your life, but only some leave their footprints behind." What scares me the most, which the Oprah show reminded me of today, is that maybe, just maybe, you dont know who you're with. In the first place, have you lost yourself trying to please? At the altar, things may be fine and dandy. Reality sets in and suddenly, "Who are you?".

Talking about relationships, I'm glad I have people around me who have been there for me through the years. Sometimes we dont share our lives that often, some of them are miles away, but in the heart, will always be the space for them. Can you not love more than one? After all, love actually, is all around.

tale as old as time
bittersweet and strange
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debo: no prob! i'll cook for you while you draw my shoes;) hehe. hope ure feeling better dear!

hy: i also want you to come! brisbane is nice! =)

shinhan: yar, and we were just talking abt it. serious!! so cool rite. i dont think i'll acknowledge you if i win lar..seriously haha. jkjk. (crosses hands in front of face)

shuk: haha this coming friday dear. will you be there? have you been going regularly, huh HUH? haha.

tomato: haha yeah i am!! i think i signed up in march lar, on the website..haha so funny. no lar, i'm not greedy haha. hope ur work is okay! take care:)

hy:ang ang!! i saw your tagboard. i think you're doing a great job with your kids! dont bother about what others think, but just take it as a constructive (yet dubious) comment. i love hy! hope u had a great national day! enjoy school dear. :)

cherie: cherie chan yu wen! of course i miss you! how are you dear? HELLLOOOO=)

shuk: haha serious? i miss koko krunch! over here, the cereals are okay only=( yeah busy like everyone else too.:) oh i think ocf has a combined prayer meet with all the ocfs in vic in melb uni this fri 7pm! maybe i'll get to see you?? (if ure going lar) or maybe just pop by!=)

karenina: nina!! serious? which part of aust are you going to? studying what? yeah, i havent met you for so long! how are you dear? :) hope everything's fine!:) take care okay.

________________________

busy time of meeting people, sending Arie off and just catching up :)

i made soya bean drink today! hard work man..but i think i should make it in bulk next time! it's really nice:) and my cooking has improved i think..learning tips frm fellow students..no more "fake sauces"! (deb, arent you proud of me?)

something to laugh about: im going for auditions for the tv game show "Deal or no deal" nextnext mon! haha..it's this no-brainer show where you choose your "case" and they'll offer you some money, depending on which cases you choose. the highest case is $200,000:) haha. dragging my sis along. should be fun=)

Happy 41st Singapore!

After all that's been said and done, I love you very much.

I am proud to be a Singaporean!

ive just finished reading a book "Joe Cinque's Consolation" by Helen Garner. It's about Joe who was murdered by his girlfriend, a law student from ANU. She got away with manslaughter instead of murder and a total of less than 4 years in the gaol.

the book is basically about how there wasn't justice served to the victim's parents, and is thought-provoking in terms of how the law equates to justice. Law does not seek to give people what they deserve (for who decides what is just anyway), but aims to prevent and deter potential criminals.

the world isn't fair is it? the law is based on public concensus on what justice and the right thing to do is, but how about the changes in stance on gay rights and marriages? also years ago, the accused as mentioned above would have been hanged without the judge having to give a simpler explanation of "she did it".

i remember the first time i sat in a hearing in the Supreme Court and observed the 'wig-ged' people go about their honoured duties. I thought of the system as part thereof absurd. fine, we need people to put society back into its place but now, we need others to help us to justify our rights, to fight for our claims, and fellow human beings to judge us on what we have done? Court proceedings can be likened to a drama serial accompanied by muddled acting.

in general, people place too much hope in the judicial system. do you honestly think that your barrister really believes that 'you didnt do it'? sometimes you meet the worst criminals and im sure the judge would love to cut the sweet talk short with a "a life for a life". then again, that is another issue in contention. should we hand out the death penalty for any reason?

ultimately, God is the only one who has the liberty to judge. whether or not we believe in Him, He will judge us after we die for every single thing we did, thought, or committed to. He alone can deliver the truth of justice.

in essence, the book got me thinking about society and its wicked failings. in one of the short essay questions i answered for a scholarship cum leadership program application, i wrote about how many people start working and then realise that they're caught in a rat race, but become too disillusioned to carry out their dreams of impacting society.

idealism should never run dry, neither should creativity or perseverance. however, we all just accept dont we? we accept that there is no real justice in the world, accept that most people are too busy, too self-centred and overuse the colloquialism of 'too plain tired' to do anything to aid others.

we can't pretend that the world we live in is a-okay.

hello -waves.

haha. okay. you know you're getting busy and letting life slip by when:

1) you cant remember what you did the past few days. the photos u've taken remind you.
2) when you sit down (finally) your brain drifts off
3) you just love sister bonding time (i always do)
4) you frown more.
5) your phone credit goes down
6) you dont wish to turn your phone on when you wake up
7) online tutes are the best (u can listen to them at home and eat hamster food- wholemeal grains which ur big sis endorses)
8) what exercise?
9) you laugh to yourself in horse laughter and dance around cheerleading. (strictly at home)

haha okay fine. it's not that bad. just that the first few weeks of school, almost every day's been hectic. im not home now, so i cant let the pics do the talking haha.

being an orderly science lab student, this is the best way for me to blog now:

1) ANNE's back!!! and i feel particularly sore n bad cos i havent been a good host. i promised her id let her stay overnight..but im not sure if that can be fulfilled. but i will not let her go without spending quality time with her. sorry dear. =(

2) ocf multicultural festival saw some of us cutting raw chicken and marinating till late at night. wed nite, i reached home at 1230am, slept at 2 plus. but im really grateful for wonderful pp who have just stepped up to help. thanks ben too..the co-worker.

3) huh

4) daddy's got a nice new place at narre warren! i wanna stay over soon. haha i have alot of complaints about my current home..hello contract obligations anyone? but im too agitated to file a petition since i know the owners personally. you know, respect in some sense. ANW. =)

i drove for 25min from my house to narre warren in dad's new car! which i love too. red rocks rite? :) yeah..driving's fun. i thot id be the speed prankster but im actually quite careful. =)

5) i just went for an aust open interview. they had 1200 applications for casual staff next yr..and only interviewed 360 and we're gonna be cut down by half. hope i get in cos i wanna meet federer and roddick. and believe it or not, hewitt too=) oh and nadal. heheheh.

just an announcement. i think my sis is really talented. she won 2 medals in some victoria badminton competition. she's great at musical instruments- piano, guitar and drums. and she is so smart too. hmm..she makes me wanna study harder and stop my bo-chap hello-world ways. whatever that means. she's one of my best frens here and in my life cos i think i can tell her almost anything. she's sane, not like some parts of my brain. and she makes me laugh like mad, which is not very easy to do b.t.w. and we have a special bond cos we say the same things at the same time!

and she cant stand it when i say "we can be twins!"
"sister bonding time!" -giggles
"i love sugar bun!!"
"gimme a C- H- A - R- M- I- A- N!" -cheerleads
"huh, i cant hear you."
"im cold, gimme a huuuggg."
"hee hee heeeeeee"

haha okay. maybe i understand why she doesnt like that now. but yeah.

i l-o-v-e my big sister!! although half the world thinks im the older sister. humph.

disclaimer* im a mature 18+ year old who is a demure and well-behaved young lady.

alicia: it did!!? haha im glad it did cos it was really from my heart=) im okay!! loving life. you? how's packing and all? dont be too busy okay..must spend time with your family first hahah.:)

shuk: yeah national day!! i shall try to wear red and white haha. :) i just ate tim tams! yummy. must eat it cold with milk!!=) take care dear and catch up with you soon okaaay!=)

deb: haha okay..i love markets too! i'll bring you everywhere lar. come come come cos your bf misses you=)

shinhan: haha yar will come down soon..i think the monday mrs richards thing is still on. but you wont be free rite. anw..there's no dance at the ocf ball. haha. i thought learning to dance should be on the top of your list? haha.