when you believe

Thursday, May 31, 2007

Jane: haha I learnt the art of encouragement on my blog, from you:) Ooh I didn't know you gave the princess bk to Sher! another great girl to bless hey..;) Stop wanting to go out..I shall strap you at home to study..hahaha. but eh, was chaddy shopping good? hahaha:)

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Dr. Phil's show today was about treasuring people in your life, because you may not have them forever. True.

Alot of times along the way, I've lost contact with close friends, or once best friends. So I've learnt to live in the now and take time out to spend quality time with those close to my heart. :)

3 of my fav people, 2 leaving me for good, 1 farfaraway with a certain duck who will then occupy her time..hehe.

Happy birthday Whiney! I do appreciate you alot:)

And you and you!!:) A week in week out situation, but I'm glad I've got you both for support and understanding:) One day, we WILL sip our coffees and look back at those chair-draggin', instrument-settin', heart-breakin' yet joyful days:)

Pray hard for more great people to join us before you both leave, or I might stare at your plane with teary eyes=(

Chalet at Pasir Ris, anyone? :) And, COME for CAMP! :)

heartme` twirled her pencil at 2:35 PM
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Sunday, May 27, 2007

This is taken from Charm's blog:) I find her life inspiring. Although we're miles apart, I believe she blogs from her heart and what's important to her, and that alone inspires me in the things of God. It's so easy to lose focus, to fall away. I see God's faithfulness in her life, even though we really hardly talk:)

"and i guess.
she didn't do anything wrong?
she just wanted to be
that ideal self.
and.
through it, she lost herself.
but in the end,
she gave up that mask
that absorbed her identity.
and found back
the things in her life
things that she had set aside
to accomplish a dream.
that seemed too hard to attain
that took so much out of her.
and the accomplishment of the dream
gave only temporal satisfaction.

in the end, she became herself
she became real (:

what would happen
if we saw the beauty of the soul
instead of external appearances?
i think if that happened.
of cos there would still be a range
but i guess the end
of the "super ugly"
would be very much reduced.
cos out there,
there is always someone who loves you
and whom you love (:
and people who can love
can't be that bad right??

what would happen.
if we did not see the beauty of the soul
but the beauty of Christ instead?
then, there would be value equality haha"

I think the girl's night at OCF really opened my eyes. In a way that you start to see others differently. I start to realise that every single person is hurting, that everyone has their own insecuritites and that the pain the random stranger beside you is facing, is so real. Sometimes I take forgranted alot of the blessings in my life. As people share their lives openly, I try to put myself in their shoes and wonder, what would I do if I were them? Would I still be the joyful and confident young lady, or will I be less secure, less bubbly, less loving towards others.

Because when you see your life through the perfect rose-tinted glasses, it's so easy to be a happy airhead.

But I suppose everyone has their own journey to travel. To discover, to press on.

I just want to say, treasure the people in your life who love you for who you are, because those are the real treasures in your life. Not your looks, your money or grades, but those real people.

This is your now.

....

How very aptly, Charm just reminded me of my life verse. (which I kinda forgot, but she actually remembered!)

Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding, remember the Lord in everything you do, and He will show you the right way."

afterthought:

Can't wait to catch up with her. I do miss the people in Singapore. Sometimes it feels so strange, to be thinking of the place I used to call home, to try so hard to remember what I left behind. Like Queen and I said today, it'll be pretty hard trying to adjust if I do return to work. But hey, there is no place like home.

And for my goody friends in RL, do catch hold of Pak Ken and family when they go back in abt 2 weeks time or sth..I suppose that's the closest you can get to smelling me, since I see them every week hahaha. If you do hug Claire, remember that I hug her every week, so a slight connection there hey? hahahaha:) TAA

breathing in the moment*

heartme` twirled her pencil at 10:16 PM
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Monday, May 21, 2007

heartme` twirled her pencil at 3:42 PM
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One thing I love about Stella and Jane's blogs is that they are so real. I know mine isn't meant to be real, in terms of revealing my heart and feelings. It's meant to be an update of the ongoings of my life, mainly for my mum and close friends. But since my mum's here now, I've lost the motivation to blog.

So I shall just be more real.

There came a time where I just felt numb to everything. The thoughts and feelings of not doing my best, not doing enough. Sometimes people don't understand, most of the times I don't understand myself.

But over the years, I've come to realise that it's not even what I think about everything. It's about what my King thinks. What He wants me to do, where He wants me to go.

My hands felt heavy during worship in the morning, but I knew that God brought me there to hear something, straight from heaven. And the sermon was titled- Going to places you don't want to go.

My first thought was of an immediate place, a place where I've stuggled with God whether or not to go. But then I realised, I'm going not because of anything else, but because God wants me to go. And that's more than enough for me. To be a servant, not a self-proclaimed Martha.

Whatever you do in secret, God acknowledges and is pleased.

I keep asking, but God isn't a fortune teller. This is what He says, from "His Princess" by Sheri Rose Shepherd:

You seek Me for your place in this world, and My answer to you is wherever you are standing. I love to hear you pray to be used by Me. Nothing pleases Me more than when your love flows warm and free. When you're willing, I am ready to strategically place you somewhere to be a blessing.

Even the smallest of effort can lift the burden of someone else when you are living by My power. You won't always understand why I send you to do things that no one else will see, but you don't work for others- you work for Me. What you do now will be seen by all on the other side of eternity.

So go where I send you today, knowing that I have prepared the way.

Love, Your King who is the Way.

heartme` twirled her pencil at 2:14 PM
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Monday, May 14, 2007

mich&queen: thanks girls:) hahaha lmao= lousy mistaken awesome ones!! :) hahaha. muacks*

mel: haha yes sure!!..waah now i know what you and queen talk abt behind me back hahaha..heehee.

deb: haha cos my bf is a thousand miles away:) okay, no more talk about babies and dogs haha..we gotta get moving!! -runs to pasir ris park and climbs the web (if its still there) :)

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May 14- The most beautiful action in the world is to love. The second is to give.

My week back,

Saturday was a night spent with Jane at Pancake Parlour (those lovely choc pancakes), where I got lost for an hour, forced strawberry pancakes down her throat and couldn't find my car. hahaha. And we spent the hour talking about why we are the Jane and Charlene we are today:) She makes so much sense, it encourages me so :)

Sunday was Cross way with Jane and Jack, Pastor Stuart talked about worries :)

Monday was Yum-cha with Eileen!! :) Haven't met her for reaaally long, so it was a great catch-up!!:) hahaha. Yummy egg tarts (of course) and a nice treat from her at Imperial Kingdom..

Then it was Global Friendship night (where people just randomly go and chill and eat for a dollar), so some of us Ocfers just went to make people feel welcome:) It was good as usual, talking to strangers who are now friends:)

Car got stuck. haha, fortunately there was Jane Jack and Andrew to the rescue!! :) Jack had to jack my car up..haha okay not funny. But thanks guys, really:) For your encouragements thereafter too:)

Wednesday was Queen day!! We went to Kokoblack, had a hearty 2 hour chat!!:) One of those chats of a lifetime:) haha, oh read her post, she's more succint and I would think, a better spelling bee:)

Thursday, had DG dinner at Justin's house:) Talked to his housemates and made connections with them. It's good, I think we're getting closer as a cell!!:) Made fruity salad for Jazz night!

And boy, was Jazz Night fun on Friday!!:) Love Jazz, love Jazz. Some of my friends came, so that was great!!:)) Praise God!:)

Sat was the stayover at Collette/Alex's place...or I mean, Tessa the toy dog's place!! :) Reading, eating and reading for me:) Now, Tessa looks like a polar bear hahaha..

Okay, that was my week. Great, which explains why I need to head to the library tomorrow. TAAA!:)

Lesson 101: Be disciplined

heartme` twirled her pencil at 11:18 PM
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Saturday, May 12, 2007

mel: yeah praise God for your job!! we're having exams in about 1 month:) yay, glad you're still going to RL:) I'm sure you're making friends there? :) haha queen and i chatted a bit about you..i have to say, im not as bratty anymore:) hehe.

deb: i need you!!!

kiz: hahaha. yay no glasses, so you're not joining our exclusive glasses gang anymore? :) hahaha hope you're feeling better, go kick some butts!;) and, oh my I really do see you everyday, dont I? no wonder I dont mind going to uni everyday..haha, and remember, time is based on Charly's daylight savings..it's only your imagination. hahah muacks!
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I need You.

heartme` twirled her pencil at 5:38 PM
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Friday, May 11, 2007

That Year

Those puffy eyes at Mackers, when I didn't wanna go to school and we ponned assembly.
Why I love my sigg bottle.
The sweets you bought for us so that we wouldn't sleep during lecture.
Realising that I'm not that little girl you once knew anymore.
The goals in life, for life. The science behind it all.
Maybe not understanding each other oh so much but knowing that it runs deeper; yet there's always this mutual understanding of a line drawn.

charlene says:

i know it's not easy..that's why you have to be patient and wait. cos if you compromise then it's like eating bitter medicine all the time..

you wouldnt know what sweet is anymore

the most incomprehensible thing about the world is that it is at all comprehensible says:

woah

thatz the most thought provoking thing i heard from u thus far

looks like aust is doing u gd

haha

Then there were moments I missed, where photos were sent over msn. Where lives were shared excitedly over the phone and through e-mails.

Then there's this girl I'm gonna visit in one of the most romantic cities in the world (so says some travel guide).

The pre-Olevel results scare, handholding, swimming at tch, watergun, pepsicola and giggles and rants. The girly but not so girly us. :)

Suddenly I feel like I lived in a different world, in a different time.

:) And to everyone else who made that difference in that year, could I have you know that you still remain part of my greatest support in life:)

heartme` twirled her pencil at 1:05 AM
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Thursday, May 10, 2007

mich: mamaquack!:) hehe. hey girl it's alright,we understand!:) although i really must catch up with you soon. hard though, cos dad wants to go to Cross way in the morning:) but hey, hope everything's fine! bad breath then should use listerine lar..mother never teach meh. hurhur:)

cheche: lubbyou!!:) cant imagine my life without you!:) hee.

queen: you lazzeeee gurlgurl. but wah, indulgent chocolate over aerobics anytime mannn!!:) hey you know what, i think i'll rem our talk for a long time to come, it's one of the best talks ive had this year. :) the drama mama stories, it showed me how powerful God is. and how everyone has a story to tell, so dont overlook them i guess. :) press on sweetie!:)

hy: haha good lar, you all in the same uni now. must meet up yeah, always say but i dont see any substantial evidence of your meetings!! :)

kiz: haha shakespeare rocks! ooh that video was so funny haha, muffled giggles. anw, hope that you'll get good brown/black glasses!! please no funny animal prints or i'll just stare and laugh at you. hee. at least it'll cover your rolling eyes, yeah? :) hahahaha. hugs pinky. take care and get well and healthy:)

rawr: hey dear, no prob:) anytime:) haha brissy's sunshine is good though.the sun here seems to really blast through your skin. haha. stock up warm clothes yeah!:)

heartme` twirled her pencil at 4:14 PM
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Monday, May 07, 2007

queen: haha yeah:) wed! i was thinking of..jogging? or i bought group exercise tix from monash sport long time ago..we can use them. or if you want free and easy, my room's open!:)

debo: haha i love you! :) yeah im always here for you:) haha they must be happy to have you in the same uni, how cool is that:) triple date!!!:)

caleb: hahaha sorry lar, i wrecked my brains trying to think of who that was haha. but hey! cont press on in parkville yeah? :) God will provide not only people, but His guidance and wisdom!!:) say hi to sulynn for me!:)

shun: shunn!!! how are you? glad exams are over for you!! i thought you disappeared and forgot about me=( you're finally here! pls update ur blog!!:) write me an email or sth?? :)) heehee. im wearing the bedroom slippers you bought for me!:) and i hope everything's goin fine with you dear, take care lots yeah?? :))

jia: hahaha that's cos i only post happy events and things i do, haha although that's mainly what's really going on in my life haha dunno whether good or bad..yeah i really thank God for His providence, cos without Him, i'd be so lost. =( and hey! China's cool i think, hehe..you can get a preview of beijing 2008 yeah? :) oh wait, are you gonna pass by beijing? anw, i'll randomly surprise call you one day! :) haha that's deborah, i think you met her in riverlife before..not sure!! and i love you too:)

shuk: oh no..im so sorry shuk!! but how can you insult me and say UNTRUE things=( hahahah. hope you're doing well too dear!!:)) haha you're goin back to sg in june/july?? :) when does sem2 start for you? better meet up in sem 2 okay!!:))

poi: ehhhh!:) haha wah i miss you. how was 1st year, okay? haha hope your internship goes well! im sure it will, with God beside you!!:) heehee. it's your summer break yeah..:) write me an email!? :) hugs heehee:)

heartme` twirled her pencil at 10:09 AM
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Saturday, May 05, 2007

Kiz: haha well, we always have extra time to chat and draw and listen to the cute british accent muahaha. haha yay theatre studies anyone? hahaha Death was fun with phototaking haha..and stop rolling your eyes at me -_- Pinky who wears black!! :)

Nat: hey nattie!!:)) Ive been checking your blog too!!:) Im glad you're growing strong in the Lord, and I hope everything else has been great! :) You're cared for by me:)

Caleb: haha are you talking about Shuk In? (eh shuk, I didnt know that's your chinese name!) haha eh you should add me on friendster..we probably have 1048 friends in common hahaha..

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I came out of my shell just to say- I'm so proud of Deb Chen!!:))

Ever since she went from the N's to JC, it hasn't been entirely smooth-sailing. Nevertheless, she put her best foot forward whilst retaining sincere determination and exuberance. Now to NTU, doing the course she keenly informed me about, I recall her personal journey and think highly of the willpower my best friend has.

I think that many have failed to see her as she truly is, to the point that they have missed the exquisite essence inside of her.

It is easily convenient to stand from where people are at and pat them on the back, but choosing the undemanding way out considering one's absence during their lonely battles may not always be the wisest decision.

There's so much more that I could say about people's attitudes towards others they consider as less significant, but I wouldn't dare to begin because then I would have to start with me.

Through the years, people dearest to my heart have taught me the importance of bringing them from where they're at to where they want to be, regardless of their starting points. I've realised the value of the human life, God's created image.

And above all, God we thank You for Your providence and grace:)

that's why I love you

heartme` twirled her pencil at 11:15 AM
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Wednesday, May 02, 2007

lyn: haha i replied you on my tag board!!:) mum's in kuching now enjoying the nice food hahaha..can't wait for her to come over!! big sister's acting like a pseudo mummy to me now=( hahahah:)

queen: haha the kids are super cute lar!! rushed in to take that photo hahaha i thought it was some stampede..but waaah the boys were really noisy during kids church..ask bryan! kept playing with my laptop..humph:) wed!!:)

shuk: shukkieee!:) haha im glad uve settled down in a church dear!:) haha hope you'll get a good instructor though!! the city's harder to learn in i think! but you can do it!! haha. hey, i love you too!:)

mel: melly!! i heard you got a job, praise God!! have you been going to riverlife huh? :) haha yeah..casey's still the same funny ole bunch haha..a few things have changed though, kent ching, uncle daniel and jie have moved on..! hope you're doing well in sg dearie:) update us on your life..send the team an email or sth okay? :))

jia: fcy!! haha really? is this ur first time in china? hahah you're always going somewhere to help others hehehe it must be really exciting!!:) if i were in sg, i'll help you in speaking chinese!! hehehe. lol. anw, yar lar, cos i dont spend on food or shoes, so that explains the clothes haha. take care in china okay, make sure noone bullies you!! haha...

kiz: haha kiki!! i havent gotten my LJ hahaha..thanks for staying behind with me today! so sweet of you hahaha..violin jamming session tomorrow i hope!!:) seeya in Death..hahaha..
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I drove to Brighton Beach to jog today!:) It was refreshingly good- the fresh cold sea breeze, the sound of lightly crashing waves that reflected the shyly filtered sunlight:) It was good time alone, thinking about almost nothing but the refraction of light on those therapeutic waves. hahaha, that's considered 'nothing' ;) Oh yes, and thinking about how nice it would be to have a spacious home by the beach with a german shepherd to scurry and scamper with.

Uni (not school, uni) has been good so far, as per normal and more often that not, extremely bearable with good friends like Kiz! (only one name because only you read my waste-of-time blog) haha, so says your antagonist, Josh.

I cleared my room today! It's my once a month ritual, whereby thereafter everyone seems highly astonished and conveniently forget their past ways of carefully trotting across my room, over the mysteriously hidden booby-traps.

The verdict is: in desperate need of a pink piggy dustbin (to match the bedroom slippers Shun gave to me). The normal dustbin does not rouse underused abilities of the occasional brilliant rubbish pitch.
....

Btw, Jack really cracks me up haha. I told him that I'll be his driver if I pass my P's..since he's always been so kind as to send us to and fro from camp and worship pracs..so I offered to send him to worship prac tomorrow..and ...

he drew me a map!!!

hahaha somemore give me the address already what..think i cannot read is it!! (spews all the singlish) hahaha Jack i hope you're reading this cos you're really very funny. :)

heartme` twirled her pencil at 9:23 PM
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