when you believe

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Appreciating the Little Things

i figure that if we all write a list of these things every week..we'll be much happier people:)

so everyone reading my blog..give me a list of 5 things okay! :) i will check..haha.

1) my housemate just gave me some of the redbeansoup he made! :) so sweet!

actually its not really red bean, im just eating it although im not a fan of hot chinese stuff cos i dun even noe what im eating haha.

haha little things just make my day.

2) just spent time with Nadine, this girl from my chem lab..from Mauritus! hope i spelt that correctly..but i just showed her around my house cos she wanted to take a look..it was good just talking to her about her country and all:) hope she comes to church with me!

3) a few weeks ago..i popped by kai rui's house for dinner with her sister as well:) didnt take any pics..but i just loved spending time with them..feels like home, you noe?

4) and the lunch with sau that day was great too..he and my dad were just talking about medicine in sg cos sau's going back as doctor ang haha. it's nice just spendin time with him..since he was the one who brought me to my first ocf meeting and first prayer meet etc..basically like a big brother to me. and the one who err..did some mentoring with me haha. ironically, more than my supposed mentor back then. owell:)

5) went to grampians on sat/sun. uber fun! shall post some pics up soon..haha. long road trip, but great bonding with my cell group!! :)

yup. quality time is the most important to me. :)

okay i better finish my work so that i spend some time with june on thurs! :)

heartme` twirled her pencil at 2:48 PM
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Monday, September 25, 2006

A week ago, Dad and I went to Swanston St Church of Christ to visit Sau, my ex-ocf parkville president from last year. My parents were from that church when they were in melbuni years ago..while it was my home church for a few months last year.

"as I rest against this cold hard wall, will You past me by"

As I sat down admist familiar surroundings, peering around, I saw faded pictures. A myriad of moments shared, faces of people and memories swept past me. I thought of God's goodness and grace that has seen me from that struggling young girl, to the person who I am right now. How He has brought me in all my weakness and disgrace to be a moulded fine-tuned and tweaked young lady after His heart.

"will You criticise me as I lay my head down to cry?"

As He does His work in my life and through my being, I'm seeing breakthroughs after breakthroughs.

I've always slept while praying, sighed when the Pastor says "close your eyes and bow your heads" and thought that prayer was just plain boring. But when I look back, I see the power of prayer. He has answered my prayers over the years. Sometimes it takes days, months but the basis is much needed perseverance and faith.

An apology I've waited for took 4 years. A conversation I've been hoping for took 7 months. Only God can change the hearts of those you pray and care for, isn't it?

"one day you'll understand, the meaning of it all"

It's difficult not to regret the shame of the past. One thing that Dr. Robin on the Oprah show said was that, when women lie about their age, they're discarding those years that they lived. The years that they are not claiming for their own happiness. And it's true. At the same time, when we shove 'bad' experiences under the carpet, we're not acknowledging God's power in our lives to turn those learning stumbles into jigsaw pieces of a beautiful puzzle, you.

"cos You are, strong enough. You are, pure enough. To break me pour me out, as I am"

The wheel turns a full circle. someone teaches you something, you in turn teach someone else the same something. Sometimes when you dont listen to God's whispers, you miss out on His teaching and learn it the hard way. Then you finally wake up and either, you can choose to blame yourself for the opportunities missed or, you can simply thank God that He disciplines those He loves.

"I come in a fine whisper. To guide, to lead, to love you just as you are"

Ps. Ken Li's sermon was on "Contentment" yesterday, a very apt message straight to the heart for the worship team. Interestingly, hy was also talking about it in her blog :) Since young, I've always expected alot from people. True enough to the chiding of my parents, I've learnt that the world does not owe me a living. And really, it doesn't.

As for now, I don't expect anything from anyone. I tell myself, the world will fail me. It's only natural. The people I love will betray me, the things I hold on to aren't all that important. I give so that I can receive the joy from the Lord when I do so. I love because I choose to live my life that way.

Many times, people don't do what you hope they'll do. It may be hurtful, but when you enter situations already prepared for the cold reality of life, then the letdown stays with them. It doesn't have the chance to enter your heart to stab you.

"Cos I know, how hard it can get, you gotta lift. Sometimes, that's how it is, but I know you're stronger, stronger than this. You gotta lift" - Shannon Noll, Lift.

heartme` twirled her pencil at 3:12 PM
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Friday, September 22, 2006

He makes all things beautiful, in His time.

Lord my life to You I bring,
may each song I have to sing,
Be to You a lovely thing,
In Your time.

heartme` twirled her pencil at 12:49 PM
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Wednesday, September 20, 2006

A Final Farewell to a true-blue Aussie hero

"Steve Irwin touched the hearts of Australians and touched the hearts of millions around the world in a very special way.

He did that because he had that quality of being genuine, at being authentic, of being unconditional and having a great zest for life and throughout his all-too-short life he demonstrated a love for the two things that ought to matter more to all us than anything else - his love of his family and his love of his country."
Prime Minister John Howard

"I don't want daddy's passion to ever end. I want to help endangered wildlife just like he did," Bindi told the crowd and then left everyone with a tear in their eye when she said:

"I had the best daddy in the whole world and I will miss him every day." Bindi Irwin, daughter

and she left a tear in mine.

heartme` twirled her pencil at 4:41 PM
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all the girls!! haha love them all -bigsmiles-

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the team!!:) third guy frm left: kent ching, currently staying with pak ken (far right) :)

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drum roll..shuqing and wayne! jimmy-trained..:) in pak ken's 'backyard' hahaha

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shuqing thinks wayne looks like the cow hahahaha..

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the boys who tolerated us..haha. that's my finger blocking the flash hehe..:) wayne, novian, kian wei (top) and bryan:)

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haha we were laughing and screaming so much..fortunately it was off-peak hour in the large shopping complex haha..:)

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shuqing and i went for a short walk around after dinner..and bought hairbands! with tags still on haha..minnie mouse;)

mel's bday cake..tried to trick her with the magic candles that relight..haha

finally! -breathes without the kids hahaha..:) fiona at right back!

most of the worship team with claire (at the back) and girl and boy in front: cute chloe and caleb..melvin's children=) jie's holding esther..the lil tyrant who likes to pull my hair..

mel's bday!!:) utmost left: melvin our worship director!! and in green: uncle daniel's daughter, seraphina!! :)

oh wayne..what have you got yourself into? tell your mummy..haha

it's a beautiful day! outside church! :)

daddy pops!:)

heartme` twirled her pencil at 3:09 PM
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Tuesday, September 19, 2006

one of the partners in my team assignment has decided to bail out on us. so this leaves me to come up with a comprehensive memorandum at 11pm..

fortunately ive been doing the minutes for all the meetings and this is an easy case.

i can so foresee myself in the future- burning the midnight oil with the laptop in the living room, clad in pjs and armed with a warm drink. all of course, in the midst of rambling judgments against uncomprehensible irresponsibility.

have you heard that coffee is the brain's best friend here at monash law? bad for your teeth, so says my dentist friend.

thank you microsoft for your thesaurus and spell-check. my everyday assignment helplines.

anyway. i have a very funny friend :)

yest's msn as i rem it:

me: "BAD MOOD lar!"
"i wanna transfer to melb uni!!" (based on more hols)
"but i cannot stand you haha"

anon: "why bad mood? you'll get wrinkles. then you'll look more taitai.."
"must be the air at clayton..filled with cow poo/dung.."
"anw, hope your bad mood goes away. be happy cos the world is a great place!!"

haha go away melb uni. oh boy oh boy :)

heartme` twirled her pencil at 11:43 PM
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Monday, September 18, 2006

we need more times like this..just being ourselves!!

candid moment..with fiona's back facing us..cos she didnt get to join the girls in our photo rampage! we missed you!:)

two classy, three sporty!! shoes galore..

making our debut in all our wackiness..:)

candid shot by kian wei..:)

so now that you've been introduced to the fab five..here's the behind the scenes!!:)

us five!! bottom row: julianna, melissa, jie! eating at fountain gate, narre warren:)

candid: shuqing and i!! haha love that happy girl who lives 2 streets away from me!!:) my lovely drummer!!

heartme` twirled her pencil at 4:41 PM
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Saturday, September 16, 2006

You are 29 years old!!

Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe.
13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.
20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.
30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more!
40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

it's funny...just some time this year..i think i was 21years:) hahahaha

But i think the description fits me haha. 10 years older than i should be..sheesh! check mich's blog for the real link!:)

heartme` twirled her pencil at 3:46 PM
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mich: haha yeah aust has always been slow..save for nicole kidman films i guess haha..:) but better check the newspapers lar..i dont noe much about movies haha..!! :) have fun during ur hols okay!! -green-eyed monster- :)

deb: haha.yes i get it! and stop dreaming literally and in your dreams!! :) after my ms.congeniality, i prayed and spent time with God..it was a good time just telling him about everything:) haha..so you can do tt too k? He'll give you the peace that is beyond understanding, and grace that is sufficient! :) LOVE and I really thank God for you dear! :) -winks-

shuk: haha stalker shuk!! :) yar..9am is too much lar i tell you:) i think alicia's going off in a few days..very soon? read her blog to find out? :) and im glad ocf has been fun for you! really happy you're growing in the Lord dear and see you tmr! :)

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and my best friend said, "what more can i ask for when i have a bestie who loves me?"

yes deb chen, i love you lots even though we're so far away and we HARDLY talk. we dont even talk on the phone..and not so often on msn..but when it comes down to the crux of the matter..you always understand:) and im glad we talked yest cos it was just a confused me not knowing what to do:) love you and i still love you when im watching a nice movie!:) hehe.

Thank You Lord for providing godly girlfriends for me in sg and in aust to share my life with. To me, they are a girl's best friends. irreplaceable and irresistably lovely. :)

"Your grace, is enough..Your grace, is enough for me"

heartme` twirled her pencil at 2:32 PM
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Thursday, September 14, 2006

Hi everyone!

Laughable quotes that brightened up my day..

Im so glad I didn't give a tribute to Jiaying on my blog for her bday on 12th sept..nor did I send her a sweet email or ecard. Alas, the only thing I did was to wait till 12am droopy-eyed to send her a long sms...To my embarassment, here's an abstract of the email she sent me today:

[abstract]
"my birthday's on 18th sep la..hahaha.u made e same mistake last year too i rmb! u're so cute la..but anw thanks for e early msg"

To think that I was about to send an email to remind her that I DID send that lovely sms, and that I was nice enough to rem her bday, as I do not possess a memory of an elephant. !?!? sorry dear, some things never change muahaha!! :)

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The Casey team's planning a bbq soon..so e-mails were flying around. This is ownage (a word I learnt from mich!!) OWNAGE. haha, from our dear Pastor Ken Teo:

[abstract]
"One good thing there is that at about 5 pm you can see Kangaroo coming out.

Who knows we may be able to catch one to BBQ.......ooops are they protected animals?"

Kangeroo sounds like a person with a capital K. that's the funnier bit i think. haha. btw, Ive have yet to see one :)

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hmm, so the past few days have been so-so. perhaps it's time to clean up the clutter!! -brings out the broom- 0_o . . .

"i dreamed a dream in time gone by, when hope was high and life worth living.." woaah this song aint easy to sing! -I dreamed a dream- from Les Mis. O^o

anyway! do you know I havent watched a SINGLE movie this year in the cinema? reallllyyy. I just felt that it was a waste of money, since I only have a few favourites that I will rem in time to come..and the rest, are just plain boring to me. but! I think I will go watch -the devil wears prada- haha. just for laughs perhaps..aust is so slow..comes out on 28th sept you know..humph!

borrowed -Boys don't cry- by hillary swank from the law library..it's really a rather deep true movie on a girl who had a sex identity crisis. sometimes it's hard for me to understand them, but i think what's important is that we don't judge, but try to alleviate their confusion and doubt.

*tell me wellowellowello, are you going awaaaayy*

heartme` twirled her pencil at 6:11 PM
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Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Switchfoot- Gone

She told him she'd rather fix her make-up
Than try to fix what's going on
But the problem keeps on calling
Even with the cell-phone gone

She told him that she believes in living,
Bigger than she's living now
But her world keeps spinning backwards and upside-down

Don't say so-long, you're not that far gone
Don't spend today away, 'cause today will soon be

Gone, like yesterday is gone,
Like history is gone,
Just try and prove me wrong, and pretend like you're immortal.

She said, He said, live like no tomorrow;
Every day we borrow brings us
One step closer to the edge. Infinity.
Where's your treasure, where's your hope,
If you get the world, and lose your soul?
She pretends like she's immortal,

Don't say so-long, and throw yourself wrong
This could be your big chance to make-up
Today will soon be

Gone, like yesterday is gone
Like history is gone,
The world keeps spinning on
You're going, going, gone,
Like summer break is gone,
Like Saturday is gone,
Just try and prove me wrong and pretend like you're immortal.

We are not infinite
We are not permanent
Nothing is immediate
And we pretend like we're immortal
We are so confident in our accomplishments
Look at our decadence

Gone, like Frank Sinatra,
Like Elvis and his mom
Like Al Pacino's cash,
Nothing lasts in this life
My high school dreams are gone
My childhood sweets are gone
Life is a day that doesn't last for long

Life is more than money
Time was never money
Time was never cash
Life is still more than girls
Life is more than hundred-dollar bills and roto-tom fills
Life is more than fame and rock and roll and thrills
All the riches of the kings end up in wills
We've got information in the information age,
But do we know what life is
Outside of our convenient Lexus cages?

She said, He said live like no tomorrow,
Every moment that we borrow brings us closer
To a God who's never been short of cash
Hey Bono, I'm glad you asked,
Life is still worth living, Life is more that we are

She said, girl, pick up the broken pieces,
Life is more than what you thought it was
More than a fleeting joy
More than the hope hung on to
We were meant to live for so much more,
Have we lost ourselves.

heartme` twirled her pencil at 8:55 PM
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Monday, September 11, 2006

okay here are some belated pics! read them from bottom up so that it's more coherent! :)

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my two other charlie angels cows, pw mates, classmates, pontang mates..best hc girlfriends. =)

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and a super long ago photo. =)

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then due to some horrid mistake..cheryl and i ended up at knox..haha..my blur bus partner=)

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me shinhan yanzhi and cheryl..haha.

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shortiessss!! =))

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so we had a mini gathering at glen..tried the mirrors cheryl was so (and i mean SO) fascinated with..

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karmen and i =) miss her.

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at winter camp..dee jun and i!! she's really funny haha..=)

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versus the evil lawyers..(ee i look horrid but this is for you, cheryl!)

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shin han and edward haha..

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worse curls with a laughing guitar hogging sis (and a messy room tt has been tidied)

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more curls..-_-

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okay rem last time i mentioned about curled hair tt a korean hairdresser did for me? here goes..

heartme` twirled her pencil at 6:06 PM
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this is the heavy (and i suspect, bullet proof) sound proof door..maybe made specially for those suited to profound arguments.

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the law lecture hall where ocf is held=)

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one of the law lectures..=)

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my school of law..in my opinion, one of the nicer looking places in monash. haha.

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our current house. looks not bad eh..=) it is quite nice staying there =)

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this was taken months ago on sis' 06' bday! was having some sister bonding time before i left for melb...we should play pool more often since our school has this room with many pool tables! =)

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winter camp comm! twas fun working with them! =)

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late pics: my winter camp group!! :) ps. i should'nt be wearing tt rjc sweater..and that 'scarf' looks like a snake..hmm. haha

heartme` twirled her pencil at 5:55 PM
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Friday, September 08, 2006

shuk!!

haha yes i do patronise ur blog..one of the few blogs i read regularly, despite the many links on my blog haha.:) yar lar, you would know how i dont reply emails often hehe. BUT! yeah..i always tell people that hwachong was the best time of my life..apart from sec1-2 :) cant believe how much we all have gone through even in that one year i was around:) imagine about 7-8 smart cream of the crop people playing pepsi cola in the corridors and with water guns?!? (i miss celeste!) everyone thinks we're crazy when i tell them that. haha. all the lectures, the chicken place we used to go (cant rem the name..called it popokay i think hehe) and coro..the nice chinese songs we used to sing. :) and the training days with coach. with monkey and grandmother name calling abound. haha.

anyway before this gets too emo, haha. i'll check my timetable again to see when im free okay? you want a stayover? i dont mind going to the city cos really. and i mean really..clayton is very very boring haha. and you cant stay in my room cos it's really too small haha. :) or you could visit my blackburn church!! (which i think you were supposed to, months ago) hehe. :) whatever it is..im really glad ure adjusting well..and that God has provided a wonderful cell group for you:) and we WILL catch up soon before you go GC okay? :) hugs!!:)

love, pppp! (still rem?haha)

heartme` twirled her pencil at 2:39 PM
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Thursday, September 07, 2006

mich: haha!! im not sure when dear..prob not going there anytime soon..when are u gonna cook dinner for kelv? hehe..how bout a sat nite (next sat)? maybe i can squeeze into ur -i-cant-move-room- and we can go 1045 tog? haha..sounds like a horrible squeezy idea, but i dont mind if you dont! then i can spend time with you:) -rubs my head which is still very delicate:)

shuk: shuk! how was ur sharing with your cell group? haha no..i didnt make it to the city at all..the past weeks have been crazy!!:) but slightly better now! i should go visit you soon! last nite, i read through the small pink book the hc girls gave me (do u rem??) and i miss you all lots! and figured i should spend more time with you since ure here too:) all the best for ur test dear..and cook well okay!! :) hehe

hy: thanks dear! :) i'll pray for you too..hope ure adjusting well in uni dear:) love love:)

cherie: cherie chan of course i miss you!!:) alotalotalot!! :) stay happy okay and im beginning to cut my nails properly!! hehe:)

ernest: ERNEST xue ren kai!! oh my gosh! haha..since when do you read blogs??! im doing well! how are you?? :) how's jo? i miss you!!!! what are you doing now? are you in army? haha..are you comin to aust to study? haha. :) tell me tell me! :)

heartme` twirled her pencil at 12:10 PM
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Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Happy Father's Day daddy! (Aussie dad's day was on Sunday)

Thank you for being a wonderful father to me.
Someone I know I can share anything with.
Someone who always believes in me.
Someone who always cares for me.
Someone who will love me no matter what wrong I've done.
Someone who has tolerated me for almost 19years. a feat, I call it.

Someone who is strong in the Lord.
Someone who has inspired me to be strong in the Lord.
Someone who has encouraged me to serve the Lord in all that I do.
Someone who has a big heart for others.
Someone who has instilled in me, kindness, generousity and unselfishness in helping others.

Someone who always hugs me when I need it.
Someone who pushes me on even when I feel like giving up.
Someone who gives me sane advice!
Someone who provides the strength, courage, determination and protection for his family.

Daddy Nicholas Eng, that someone is you.

You're my hero. :)

Love you, mummy and jie to little teeny weeny bits and pieces haha. :)
[and i didnt have to think when writing or backspace to edit this post]

heartme` twirled her pencil at 5:32 PM
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yay the ultimate stress day is over. now it's over to the less stressful but still stressful days. haha can't believe im using my taboo word- stress. never never!

haha i suppose this is one of those posts where i just feel like rambling in my bloken singlapolean englise.

hmm.

skiing's out cos there's too little snow. maybe i should go to a beach, get the tan back- hey but not as bad as softball days i'll assure you- and go get into shape. spring is here and im still the same colour and shape. -_- bad girl bad girl.

well, im going to cut my hair tomorrow. do you want to hear my little secret? a few months ago, i let an extremely talented hairstylist do her first hairdo on me. (hint, she happens to live with me) it was horrendous..and on hindsight, i cannot imagine why i wasn't upset. (esp the sc girls would know about me and hair haha)

just always tie my hair whenever i go out lor.

i think my housemates must think im a bit weird. i look horrendous at home..with the hair down, looking like a chinese cleopetra (sp*??) clad with pjs most of the time. then lo and behold, when i go out, my room turns into a swan factory, or at least this is how i imagine them to think.

"waah you look different!"
"going out with boyfriend arrhh"
"oh, going to church is it?"

so you see..they always know when im going out with friends or going to a church function. because even during school days of mon-thur..i also vely bo-chap one. haha.

reminds me of taylors. cos i lived like 5minutes walk from school..and erm im used to brisk walking to school 5min before to take the super duper crowded lifts. so nik and arie always teased me..

arie "eh! why you today look so..look so..prrreetttaayy arh?" (in his indo accent)
nik "it's friday and she has to go to ocf and look good..cos there are boooyysss" (in her bimbo fiji slang)

haha love them. :)

well, for me..i care about my looks mainly for myself. as in, sometimes people care cos of their friends, or cos other people dress nicely. for me, it's more of fashion therapy. my outlet of untapped creativity when life has become too monotonous. plus, your whole attitude changes when you bother to care about yourself. :)

like garnier's slogan "Take Care, Garnier". cheesy i know, but because you're worth it. haha. :)

anyway! :) i hope arie is doing well in indo. that funny guy..has promoted himself to my 2nd spare. haha he came up with those terms himself, rating some of my closer taylors guy frens. (means 2nd boyfriend lar). yar..i hope he's adjusting well there..if you're reading this..dont get into trouble and dont harass the teachers ok! :)

and anne if you're reading this, thanks for your sms dear. sorry i didn't reply cos i recently changed phone and it's extremely cumbersome to type any sms with it..so i'll write you an email soon because ive more to write than can fit into an sms haha:) take care dear and stay strong in the Lord. (ps. what happened to ur blog?) :) post our pics up dear!:)

oh the spring and the sunshine! :) Thank You Lord for making me even though sometimes I just try to run away from You to live it my way.

heartme` twirled her pencil at 4:59 PM
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Monday, September 04, 2006

i dreamt of the past last night. it seemed like reality, and i thought it was. the past that was different from the others, the closest i ever had. i reminded myself why i left, as if my head could provide the legitimate reasons. but pasts are not called pasts for nothing.

strange. i wasn't even thinking about it. i guess it was a result of a conscious eternal sunshine, a purposedly construed spotless mind. did i just stage sections of my life only to replay them the way i deemed fit?

this is just like plastic surgery you know.

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When everyone needs forgiveness, and love that's never failing, let mercy fall on me.

Let Your light shine through me.

heartme` twirled her pencil at 10:40 AM
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Friday, September 01, 2006

hy: ang! thanks dear.tt's why i love tea valley. it's where all of us gather to meet!:) yeah..i think it's the same daniel. i met him in bekasi though..he's pak Ginting's right hand man..our translator..skinny, about my height..cheerful and very nice:) same guy? =)

shin han: aiya. im going to pray for snow, cos i really wanna go!! =( you! pray also okay! haha. aiya..so sad i'll miss sam's surprise tonight (and im sure she doesnt read this haha). humph. haha still cant believe the coincidence anw haha.

shuk: SHUK! you can do this! so proud of you! you know what dear? prayer is the key to annointing, and annointing allows you to speak and do things you've never imagined you would! and I pray that God will speak to you! haha yar, i tell you, tt serene centre macs is annointed. haha, i rem how jia and i would be so hestitant to share with you guys individually (did tt to manling too i think)..but we knew we had to do it..see, God cares for you dear! :) update me on it okay!! :)

snow, please come for me next saturday. puh-lease.

heartme` twirled her pencil at 10:10 AM
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