I recently obtained insider information on a msn conversation between my SC badminton junior Michelle Fang and my beloved Cherie Chan.

michelle :hahaa she's the best bmt senior ever man
cherie:the best!??!?!
cherie:HOW CAN SHE BE THE BEST?!?!?!?!??!
michelle:hahaha really reallyy no one as childish as her ahhahaha
cherie:dun tell her that.....
cherie:she...will jus be come so EGO
cherie: then right
michelle:super fun to be with la that girl
cherie:her head cannot fit into the doooor le
cherie:so to tc of her OH SO VAIN SELF
cherie:must protect her ok? haha
michelle:LOL LOL
michelle:oh yessss that reminds me she's so so vain arhahahahha
michelle:super funny!

CHERIE CHAN!! Don't think I dunno what's going on behind my back! I've got faithful supporters lurking around okay!! hahahaha.

and MICH FANG YAN YAN! haha you're super fun to be with too! and I am NOT whiny or vain anymore...hehe. I've accepted I'm good-looking and EGO enough...HEHEHE :)
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I just went out with Shin Han, Lai Keong and Yan Zhi. haha. super funny lar, just kept laughing and laughing at their..err jokes and antics haha. no pictures, but I enjoyed myself lots all the same. Felt like a big sister bringing 3 little acsi boys around. (All 3 are about 1 year younger than me) haha. Since Yan Zhi's working at toys-r-us, we hung around there..and I saw this reeeeaaallly cute bear!! so cute. it reminds me of my own teddy at home I had when I was young. also can wind up and play a song. If I get a job, I think I'll buy that for Ken Li and Yulie's baby girl:)

Anw, we had Koko Black yumyum (this really nice chocolate place..best drinks I've had, makes Starbucks taste like water) and then I brought them to Tien Dat, vietnamese food at Boxhill. haha. Had fun!
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Just got my Sem2 results...whew I passed law by God's grace. yeah, and the rest were okay lar, didn't expect much. I'm going to do a combined major in Human Pathology and Immunology, minor as Pharmacology since Chemistry seems to be my best subject now haha. I think I'm very greedy, everything also want combined/double haha. But I'm pumped up to study hard for the next sem. :)
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Going to work as a receptionist at a childcare agency, just going for the trial tomorrow then they'll see how it goes:) Went for an interview at Hog's Breath too!! It's for waitressing hehe. So glad they didn't ask me to go cut a carrot or something. I cut stuff really slowly and unevenly hahaha. So I went for 2 job interviews today! So tiring, but praise God for opening the doors. If it's His will:)

Okay bye, I need to shower!:)

The big field near our house, twice this size.


Reminiscing the kite-flying days at Marina.


Alas it couldn't get up. And I single-handedly tangled the string into knots.

...

It suddenly dawned upon me that I am very blessed. Thank You Lord.

"Give us today, our daily bread"

Phrases from Pak Ken's sermon worth pondering on,

"It's not the duration of our life, it's the donation"
"This world is not my own, I'm just passing by"
"Life is a span of time, noone is wealthy enough to waste"
"Your life is what it is now, you can't change the past and the future is a mystery"
"Live as though today is the last day of your life"
"Joseph was a dreamer, but most imptly, he intepretated the King's dream"

Therefore, always give fully to the work of the Lord, your labour will not be in vain.

Suddenly the things of this world, the things of my heart, grow strangely dim, in the light of Your glory and grace.

I think I have finally come to grips with where I am now, today.


So, as I let go of the string, bit by bit, the beautiful kite will soar higher and higher into the big blue sky.

To My Best Friend

Thank you for being you,
Being the silly girl with a hyena laughter,
Being obsessed with Korean serials,
Taking care of me while I stayed over at your place,
Treating me as part of your family,
Knowing that I like Scrappy only because I like you,
Telling each other a few secrets over msn,
Being there for me each and every step of the way//

I remember that night when we were downstairs of your house, and I was in some deep trouble. You stayed with me while I frantically smsed. You knew I was being silly and indecisive, never listening to your advice, but you still stood by me.

I remember the day we were at the back of church and I told you I was going to leave for Australia. You never really said you were sad, neither did I, but I knew I was going to miss you badly.

I remember when I came back, you treated me to fish head curry (or we spilt the bill), and I felt like I was right at home with you. I remember going to wildwildwet on your birthday. I had heaps of fun just being myself with you. Kicking water at each other's faces, trying to pull the other down from that big float, screaming loudly on that raft/slide.

I remember how we were rebellious at one of our infamous camps. How we threw tantrums and cried together. haha. Now, I look back and laugh. :) How I told you that we can't be best friends anymore. How I sometimes took you forgranted. How we went through different stages of our lives, sometimes so far away from each other.

I remember our 16th birthday party haha. How we both didn't care about our dressing, but just wanted to have fun. I know we had some troubles then, but we pulled through:) And the sleepover at my place, you dragging me for swimming. The walk to pasir ris park from your house. These are times I really treasure.

Thank you for letting me be the shoulder you can cry on. For letting me into your life. Thank you for accepting me the way I am. Never judging me, but always laughing it off. How about that time I was so scared of your horrid face-cup and screamed/laughed till I fell onto your dustbin? haha. Or how we met into some scary people who tried to tear our bestfriendhood apart? (erhumph) hehe.

Thank you for being there when I faced troubles. Thank you because I know I can count on you to save me from my silly mistakes. Thank you for forgiving when I sometimes neglect you.

We grew up together from pri6 onwards till now. Counting from sec 1, that's 7 years thereabout, probably 6plus years of bestfriendhood. From dance to funtasia to cell group leading to our joint sweet 16th Birthday to jc to australia to now. And we're still here:)

Deb Chen Jia Hui, you've been an almost constant in my life. Happy 19th Birthday my dear girl. I hope that you'll cont to grow in the Lord, serve Him with all your heart and never give up on yourself. I believe in you. I'm always proud of you, because you're a talented girl with your family behind you, you know? :)

See? Now, I can't get rid of you because I promised that you're to design my wedding dress and house right? :) And you'll always be a week younger than me!

I love you:) Here's to our bestfriendhood. Cheers!!- :)

Mich: yar, you know I really wish I was there too=( And wish I was with you too=( haha oh well, enjoy yourself okay dear? Eat alot please, don't you dare not put on weight!! Glad you liked the card!! And the wobbly handwriting haha. Okay will send pics when I see you online!!

Poi!! and Cherie: Since the both of you are mis-using my tagboard (because you're obviously supposed to be talking to me and not to each other), I shall reply the both of you together haha. OEI how can like that. You're both just lazy, go write e-mail to each other lar! haha. Anyway, I miss the both of you!! (I wonder why) Still remember Sakai Sushi, and our wishes at Taka fountain? Which I made the both of you do, I think!! yeah. I miss telling the both of you my err. secrets hehe, getting advice which I don't really heed, and just being honest with you both. teehee. And oh, you got see me cry before meh? (got meh, got meh? -fumes) Of course I'll change my name lar, not as if it's not my name also right?! (I bet you don't know what I'm trying to say) byebye. haha. loooveee!:) Have fun laughter peace and joy, *** and harmony!! (courtesy of cherie chan)
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Yet another city day


A Japanese playing the harmonica, electronic guit and base drum (with his foot) at the same time. Country music! I just think that these buskers bring out the atmosphere along our streets:)


Met with a few of my Taylors' friends..mostly from Msia:) Had lunch @ Ye Shanghai..I like that place! Quieter and more peaceful hehe. And clean...


Love oriental interior designs:)


Headed off to Gloria Jean's for Stefany's free coffee treat, her being a regular there. Missing JH there!:) ps. (whispers) how come they look so glum haha


Myer's (something like Isetan? haha) christmas display window! Really love their displays every year..how should I put it. The displays move! haha. And this year's about wombats, with about 6 scenes and audio story-telling.


A scene full of animals haha. So cute, they all move:)


The little mini-sized elves working away with their miniature tools.


An anteater eating away...hmm, not too sure what the other 2 animals are called. dingo, wallabee?

After that, we made our way to Crown (again) so I brought them to the Christmas show haha. Then Leonard and I went to the arcade for some kiddy fun. Stress-reliever. We played some shooting game which was rather cool! I'm learning not to die so quickly and to avoid shooting the hostages haha.

With our last few bucks of credit, I went on the motorbike, a childhood favourite. Then Leonard went to play some hitting the red-lighted-buttons game, also played when he was younger. haha. I can imagine the next time we meet again in a few years, he'd be a pilot and I'd be some working professional, and we might still head there to have fun, you know? :)

And oh, now that I can drive, I've kinda lost interest in car-racing haha.


After that, we remaining 5 were rather tired, so we headed off to Bismi (Indian food with seriously Indian music) to eat. That's Stefany's bryani.


My plain roti!!!!! Still prefer Singapore's one leh.

It was a good 7 hours of fun with them. Actually, I wasn't too close to any of them (didn't even know that guy on the far left), and only Angela and Ryan were my classmates. But it's cool how we can all still meet up after a year, talk about technology (okay, like youtube and limewire which I consider technology haha), our future jobs, physics, politics (mainly concerning M'sia and S'pore) and what not. And the best part is, I get to talk in my very very smooth Chinese!!! hehe.

No really, even though I had nothing much to say most of the time, I still very much appreciate the ties that were formed and have been kept in Taylors. Yup, strolling along the city streets with linked arms with Angela just made me happy! :) haha she's so funny. Leonard who visited S'pore often while he was still living in Brunei, claims that he has since been infected with fast-walking. When he was in a hurry to jaywalk, Angela: "eh if you get knocked down, I can't treat you and Charlene won't defend you so you'd better wait".

Can't wait to fly with them on Leonard's plane; he's allowed to take 3 passengers now anyway:)
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Just read Cherie's 20th nov post. Although she puts it in such simple words, it struck a chord in me because I believe it to be true. On the point bearing on one of the reasons why one would feel lonely because of isolation (maybe for someone who has unresolved issues with another): where is the fine line between re-opening a can of worms God has closed and keeping silent even though you want to show someone that you truly care? I think humans complicate alot of matters. More so, life as we lead it, seems like a world of oxymorons. Confusing? Maybe one day we'll understand.

It's okay to be weak, because my God is strong.

"A Lineage of Grace" by Francine Rivers. Go read it:)

My 22nd November


First up, byebye Mich. Had a great farewell buuuuttt you're coming back soon:) you'd better!! The card you gave me was SOOOO sweet. really, it IS really so me!!:) thank you so much dear!:) and the christmas tree pic we took didn't turn out well=( love, have a great singapore!:)


Then after souvlaki@ Stalactites for Mich's party, headed off with my remaining care group for Crown fun:)


The soooo romantic couple hahaha. Kuan Hong and June!


Inside the under-6 for kids space shuttle...


Eileen and I, high high high:)


Jerry!!:)


Supper @ Greco's...sweet&sour;) The mudcake is awesome! So is the baked cheesecake...


Christmas show @ Crown


Then headed off for a stayover with Shuk In TONG!:) Thank you dear for having me, chatting till we fell asleep about 5am...then breakfast @ Nasi Lemak House...then Smith St for her retail therapy. I loved spending time with you! Have a great trip back dear and enjoy your break!!:)

Tomorrow is city day:) 'Farewell' party for my dear Mich the city girl, then meeting up with the remainder of my care group at Lygon since June's back:) yay and I miss Eileen:)

Sometimes I tend to fill my life with activities, maybe I need to get to know people on a deeper basis. I suppose opening up comes and goes for me, depending on the situation. Taking the first step to invest in a friendship is something I have yet to learn. I'm trying not to be a passive friend, one who never initiates msn conversations, doesn't bother about who adds me on friendster (a habit now a thing of the past), takes terribly long to reply e-mails and the like.

Anyway, I can't be bothered with self-evaluation now, or even life evaluation. There's a time for everything. Haha. Is indulging in deep thought of utmost necessity? I think intelligence in everyday situations is more so. :)

Haha I've been trying to read Charles Dicken's 'Nicholas Nickleby'. I keep nodding off every few pages while ploughing through in a dismal effort to improve my English, in response to previous public lamentation of its failing standard. I think the words are too small and squeezy, no? ;)

And hey! My mummy's coming in 2 weeks! :) I've miss not having a mummy around to wake up to in the morning for the past 2 years. Family brekkys at Bishan coffeeshop, rotiprata and milo peng!! haha okay mummy, we need some motherly love around here! :) You are Queen:)

Michael lent me this korean series which I've been hooked on and sniffing. 'Love story in Harvard', it's called. Haha. Hey that supporting actor is rather cute!! Except for his eyes...anyway! After a while I become tired of them sobbing away, it gets rather distressing. Sweet nonetheless, enough scenes to reawaken my rusty dusty tear ducts. Watched it until 5am this morning hehe:)

Okay, 2am shower, away I go:)

Trust Him

With a F and an E, we were always beside each other,
one always winning academic prizes, the other more interested in the miscellaneous;


I'm not sure when it all started, but there we tried many firsts together,
had the time of our lives;


I'm glad I have you, who understands the seasons I go through,
the quick turn of events which unfolded in our lives, you and I were there;


Saying many words, leaving no stone unturned,
saying nothing, leaving the best conversation ever;

Maybe cos you are cute and adorable, sensible and wise,
or cos I love mng and purple, and have grown to fit in with your rationality;


Or maybe cos we never planned to dress the same,
or cos we're both simple street kids; cool in black, solid in faith;


Or cos you can put up with my senseless downright biasness, inherent when brutally open,
or maybe cos I care too much about you in times of need;


Or maybe cos you leave me be with my crazy muahchee and cheese fries obsessions,
or cos I dare to be myself with you;


Or maybe cos you are sincerely honest, truthfully kind,
or cos I then learn to love what you love and vice versa, with a ring to seal it;


But all maybes aside, assuredly, I love you for being you.

Thank you, through the good and bad, for hanging on with me.
7 years of knowing you, 3 years of being my best friend.

The Lord will provide, and mind you, there are 6 more years to endure and stay in my good books by the big white day;)

Cocktail fruit tingle for his big girl- steak at Hog's Breath


10.45; Many wishes from the big korkors and jiejies, Thank you guys!


Mangolicious with cold cream


Casey; A song in unison from everyone, Four smiley candles and a dark chocolate base:)

THANK YOU:)

deb: hey dear, im alright:) you? i'm glad it's almost done for you! i can't wait for you to come, need some best friend loving around here!! :) i miss you!:) okay you cook for me, then i'll cook one for you:) love you bf:)) -chubbbss

cherie: cherie chan yu wen!!:) haha yes you got it right!!:) THANK YOU LAR. and im not nonsense anymore! hey i didnt know meepok man passed away. hope all's alright. the best meepok ever, and the legacy of scgs.

charles: thank you charles!!:) have a great week ahead and hope exams went all well!:)

jasin: haha it works for me okaaay! really! whining is a thing of the past hehe. erhumph. thank you anw jasinng!!:)

hy: thanks dear! i wish you could come over and visit me too. no-nonsense talks are just what i need too, from you:) -hugsyou

mimi: thank you mimi! love and miss you lots:) take care, eat well!!

shuk: shuk!!! thank you dear:) haha almost done yeah? go for it!:) and i'll see you soon:) l-o-v-e, pppp:)

zy: hey thanks! surprised to see u here! hope army's fine yeah? im sure you're doing great!:) take care and stay strong in the Lord!!:)

and to alicia and weili, cos i know you both read my blog..

alicia: thanks dear for your email! will reply it soon! thank you for being there, although i know our emails have been few and not so frequent this year. but thank you for being a true friend even though you're far. it's funny how we're closer over email than in real life (in j1). hugs. be strong dear, i know you are, i know you serve a strong God. :)

weili senior: haha thanks for your ever long email!!:) i'm glad we've been staying in touch all these while for about 2 years now. i'm glad to share in your army life, the ups and downs somewhat..thank you for reading my mails and sharing from your heart.really appreciate that. :) thank you senior, and shall reply you soon!!:)
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Thank YOU for all your e-mails, tags, smses, friendster messages, well-wishes, hugs, handshakes, birthday songs and cakes.

I feel blessed knowing that I've made some impact in your lives. I feel humbled knowing that there are people walking on this earth who love me. I am touched that people think about me, even for a split second. I am honoured that people whom I never thought would remembered, did remember me.

Thank you for showing me that 19 years of my life have been worth living.

Each day has been a blessing. Each day has been a day I live in the Lord, knowing that He has brought me through storms and adversities for 19 years. People come and go, but He remains a constant in my life. Thank You.

19111987-

shuk: aww thanks dear...thanks arh...haha. tell me if you can make it on wed okay? :) it's almost done!

mich: haha thanks, kick harder can. haha jkjk. i miss sg lots too! but mummy's coming over the whole of dec, then i shall forget everyone in sg haha. no lar, if i get a job, then i'd work my way back! i must stop being a parent-moocher, if you get what i mean! you three can go hang out together and whine about how much you miss me;) hehe, and when all the students are gone, it's back to a single team for Casey. how, so tiring, how. pray for new blood!!

hy: yeah! cool yeah..the first line's from Michael Buble (Come fly with me) and the rest are from Corrinne May (Everything in its time)...and aww, i love that silly anghuying too..stop going gaga over House!

nat: hey dear, no plans to come back yet. i hope i encouraged you in some way. it'll be over soon, and you can do it! no hurries to write that email okay, go enjoy yourself and take a good break:) hugsyou:)

Come fly with me, let's fly let's fly away. You may hear all the angels cheer because we're together.

So many people on this merry-go-round. I promise you, the answer will come. Everything in its time.

I just fall to my knees and try to pray.

There are a thousand reasons why I should give up. But I'm stubborn in the things I believe.

Today was a lovely day. Woke up at one, just in time for darling Oprah, complete with nutri-grain. Boo, my sister has left me for four days for a short trip to somewhere. We had sister bonding last night, watching "Heartbreakers" till early morning.

I can't believe we've endured a year of sharing a room together! I mean yeah we had the same rooms- bed and study in sg, but considering that this ain't our house, so the room's our only solace. Or at least for me, the I-hope-noone's-outside-then-I'll-go-out person. People ask us if we ever get bored/tired of each other, and how come we still seem to be enjoying each other's private company even when we're out with our friends.

Well, as much as we're really different and possibly cannot stand some characteristics of one another, we can talk about almost anything. heh. The gross, the censored, the funny, the quirky and the evil. Quarrels last for at most half an hour, we forgive and forget easily, or at least I do. I simply forgive and forget mean things people do to me unless they reoccur. It doesn't matter does it, it's their own judgement day.

Anyway! Since I'm all alone and tend to laugh to myself too often, here goes another hi-i'm-thinking post. Actually I've always been analysing this since young, the case on how much your childhood affects you as you grow up. Oprah was interviewing young ladies today on how they're struggling with their addictions. And true, all addictions are the same. The denial, the insecurity when indulging in momentary release. Plus with Stellaaaa kindly lending me her "Captivating" book, I've now got more insight into the lives of people, especially women.

It's not easy to be a woman in today's society. Yeah, MCPs are my worst irritation, and so are over-dependent girls. It's hard to strike a balance- being an independent lady without being controlling, and opening the tender heart without being vunerable.

I see a similiar trend in alot of my friends. Jumping from relationship to relationship, putting on the facade of being proud, strong and self-righteous, and gossipping about others. The theory is, all these stem from the person being insecure and having the incurable need of wanting attention, wanting to be noticed, loved and cared for. And how does that hole arise, my bet is that it is based on their family. From their childhood, from their background.

Maybe their parents didn't shower them with too much love, affection or care. Maybe their parents were divorced. Maybe their parents were too busy. Maybe their teachers degraded them. Maybe their friends made fun of them. The symptoms are loud and clear, but more often than not, the person who exhibits them doesn't realise how serious the issue of insecurity is in their life. And yeah, I shouldn't be talking from a third person perspective since everyone deals with this issue to a certain extent in their lives.

Because you make me believe in myself when nobody else can help

Family and friends. If you can't choose them, accept them. If you can choose them, choose wisely. haha. eeek I feel old. It's so funny, I'm at this stage of my life where I'm having these random epiphany trends going on. I suddenly realise important wise sayings that I should try to live life by.

Like annathebobanna just told me on msn after I self-admitted my previous insensibility,
"haha u may not have been v sensible but ure stable!"

Yeah, I wasn't too sensible when I was younger. Stable in God, but unstable in self too. We were just catching up on those old sc days. Starting again from where we left off haha. Updating each other with the current life, and the current view of life. haha.

Life is a box of chocolates. You never know what makes you happy (endorphins!). You never know what makes you fat. Speaking about fat, a certain friend tells me I should go lose weight. How blatant, how frank. Maybe some of the people around me have been deluding me in some way. tingting* the adipose warning bells ring. hahaha.

But! It's nice to know that a few of my girlfriends and I are going through the same issues haha. You know, we're at this stage where we can talk seriously about issues we're facing as we mature. No more kiddish talk since all decisions now can dictate our many years of bright future.

Love catching up with old friends. Timeless friendships are few, the beauty of them incomprehensible.

"I will find you.
No matter how long it takes, no matter how far- I will find you."

-Nathaniel to Cora in The Last of the Mohicans

Why are we still short?


Let me try...hmm? still the same-


Black fingernails, red wine- June's handicraft:)


The craziest and silliest ever- thank you ALL so much:)





Thank you OCF. Everyone, past, present and the future. For making my life in Australia so much more meaningful and fun. For the encouragement everyone has been to me, the inspiration to soar higher, to do more, to make my life count more for Christ.

Reach Out, Build up, Send Back-