Tuesday, November 14, 2006
Today was a lovely day. Woke up at one, just in time for darling Oprah, complete with nutri-grain. Boo, my sister has left me for four days for a short trip to somewhere. We had sister bonding last night, watching "Heartbreakers" till early morning. I can't believe we've endured a year of sharing a room together! I mean yeah we had the same rooms- bed and study in sg, but considering that this ain't our house, so the room's our only solace. Or at least for me, the I-hope-noone's-outside-then-I'll-go-out person. People ask us if we ever get bored/tired of each other, and how come we still seem to be enjoying each other's private company even when we're out with our friends. Well, as much as we're really different and possibly cannot stand some characteristics of one another, we can talk about almost anything. heh. The gross, the censored, the funny, the quirky and the evil. Quarrels last for at most half an hour, we forgive and forget easily, or at least I do. I simply forgive and forget mean things people do to me unless they reoccur. It doesn't matter does it, it's their own judgement day. Anyway! Since I'm all alone and tend to laugh to myself too often, here goes another hi-i'm-thinking post. Actually I've always been analysing this since young, the case on how much your childhood affects you as you grow up. Oprah was interviewing young ladies today on how they're struggling with their addictions. And true, all addictions are the same. The denial, the insecurity when indulging in momentary release. Plus with Stellaaaa kindly lending me her "Captivating" book, I've now got more insight into the lives of people, especially women. It's not easy to be a woman in today's society. Yeah, MCPs are my worst irritation, and so are over-dependent girls. It's hard to strike a balance- being an independent lady without being controlling, and opening the tender heart without being vunerable. I see a similiar trend in alot of my friends. Jumping from relationship to relationship, putting on the facade of being proud, strong and self-righteous, and gossipping about others. The theory is, all these stem from the person being insecure and having the incurable need of wanting attention, wanting to be noticed, loved and cared for. And how does that hole arise, my bet is that it is based on their family. From their childhood, from their background. Maybe their parents didn't shower them with too much love, affection or care. Maybe their parents were divorced. Maybe their parents were too busy. Maybe their teachers degraded them. Maybe their friends made fun of them. The symptoms are loud and clear, but more often than not, the person who exhibits them doesn't realise how serious the issue of insecurity is in their life. And yeah, I shouldn't be talking from a third person perspective since everyone deals with this issue to a certain extent in their lives. Because you make me believe in myself when nobody else can help Family and friends. If you can't choose them, accept them. If you can choose them, choose wisely. haha. eeek I feel old. It's so funny, I'm at this stage of my life where I'm having these random epiphany trends going on. I suddenly realise important wise sayings that I should try to live life by. Like annathebobanna just told me on msn after I self-admitted my previous insensibility,
"haha u may not have been v sensible but ure stable!" Yeah, I wasn't too sensible when I was younger. Stable in God, but unstable in self too. We were just catching up on those old sc days. Starting again from where we left off haha. Updating each other with the current life, and the current view of life. haha. Life is a box of chocolates. You never know what makes you happy (endorphins!). You never know what makes you fat. Speaking about fat, a certain friend tells me I should go lose weight. How blatant, how frank. Maybe some of the people around me have been deluding me in some way. tingting* the adipose warning bells ring. hahaha.But! It's nice to know that a few of my girlfriends and I are going through the same issues haha. You know, we're at this stage where we can talk seriously about issues we're facing as we mature. No more kiddish talk since all decisions now can dictate our many years of bright future. Love catching up with old friends. Timeless friendships are few, the beauty of them incomprehensible. "I will find you. No matter how long it takes, no matter how far- I will find you."-Nathaniel to Cora in The Last of the Mohicans
heartme` twirled her pencil at 12:05 AM
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